How Miriam Lazewatsky got BUTTHURT on New Years Eve

http://donewiththisshit.tumblr.com/post/313260485/rough-and-tumble

Weird: Miriam Lazewatsky has written about how rape fantasies are helpful,
yet gets all hysterical when Miriam Lazewatsky wakes up BUTTHURT

New Year’s Eve was not what I had expected. As I previously mentioned, several friends and I bought tickets to the NYE celebration at a club in the city. We had a few drinks at home before heading out - and waiting in line for half an hour (even with tickets) to get in.

Fine.

I had two more drinks while at the club. I checked my bank statement yesterday morning to make sure I didn’t buy anything else, and I didn’t. The last thing I remember is talking -lightheartedly arguing - with some guy about the origin of my name.

Next thing I remember, I woke up in my own bed and it was 6 am. My best friend, who was staying with me for a few days, explained that a friend had brought me home not long after midnight, barely able to walk.

This is not normal for me. I have never blacked out while drinking, and am generally good about knowing my limits. I actually made it through four years of college without ever even getting sick from overindulging. Four drinks, even four strong ones, should not have caused these effects.

Weirder still, another friend got very sick just minutes before I did. We were both fine, and then, in less than a minute, couldn’t even stand up. Neither of us had ever blacked out before. Neither of us can remember what happened that night.

Thank God we were with friends who made sure we got home safely.

I felt like death all day yesterday. Before 10 pm, the only things I “ate” were chicken brother, tea, and water. It felt like a normal (though bad) hangover, but I’m not convinced. The friend and I (and the people we were with) think we may have been drugged. Honestly, it’s hard to know, and impossible to prove, but not out of the realm of possibility.

So happy fucking new year. 2010 has to be better than the night that started it.

Oh, but it gets better...for some reason, 180pound jiggly Miriam Lazewatsky gets hysterical when a cop describes her truthfully:

http://donewiththisshit.tumblr.com/post/314030042/stocky

We went to the police today about being drugged on NYE. Honestly, I was surprised they bothered to take a statement, since we have no evidence besides the memory loss and what we were told about our behavior that night.

Before taking a statement, the officer went down a list of questions with my friend and then with me: name, address, phone number, email, height, weight. Except, he didn’t ask me my height or weight.

When we got our copies of the report, I noticed that he made me an inch too tall and 40 lbs. too light. At the height/weight he guessed for me, I would wear approximately a size six and would look very thin. As it is, I wear a size 12 and am quite average sized.

But the thing that made me pause was what he wrote into the section asking him to describe my body type: Stocky.

Stocky?

I shouldn’t be bothered, but stocky is for big, broad football players, not average sized, somewhat short women. Apparently, I can take calling myself fat or chubby or round, or even obese (which is technically true), but I still don’t want anyone else to recognize any of those things in me. I think I take a bit too much pride in thinking that I look like I weigh less than I do, and when something happens that challenges how I think about myself, I don’t know how to react.

Um...how about reacting with a DIET dummy! How else SHOULD a cop describe you when
you look like this: